one time my mom hired cleaning ladies to clean the house and a couple of hours after they were done i noticed my cat was missing and we were searching the house looking everywhere for my cat and finally i heard a meow from my room and my cat was literally under the blanket tucked into my bed and my mom called the cleaning ladies asking why the fuck they made the bed over the cat and the woman said “it wouldn’t move”
someone shouted “do it for the vine” at the train station earlier and i was afraid for my fucking life
I think you'll need a shot
AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
Sometimes in daily life I like to pretend I’m a time traveler from late medieval Europe and I’m just fucking amazed at my luxurious life
Let me tell you, 14th c me is REALLY impressed with modern me’s easy access to pepper and cinnamon
"you have multiple purple garments? you must be a person of some note"
"these chairs are fantastically luxurious"
"I’ve never seen so much salt in one place"
I am going to start playing this game.
(Source: thatgreenevening, via cumberperfectbatch)